|The new kicks !|
Since then there have been attempts in fits and starts but success has been out of reach. I tried training for a marathon but did not recognize the severity of my asthma and suffered the entire time. It ended up with me quitting training when I could run 11 miles. I was sick all of the time and constantly run down. My belief was that if I pushed hard enough I could muscle my way through training. Not so. This is doubly true when 1) You don't recognize that asthma is the issue. 2) The people training you are runners and not aware of the signs of asthma. and 3) If asthma is untreated you get sick - a lot
Yoga then became my go to recreation of choice. I still love yoga but have always yearned to run again. My husband is a marathoner and he is surrounded by hard core runners. Every year we make the sacred trek to Boston where I follow along as he registers and attends the trade show. Then on race day I am the carrier of "Crap". My bag is full of water, snacks and now even electrolytes to share with him after he finishes. I watch and wish.
One of the hardest days for me was attending a wedding shower of a friend. Most of the attendees were runners and had just run a half marathon that morning. Everyone who ran got a headband from the brides mother and I was brushed aside as, "Oh, you don't get one you didn't run this morning." Sadly, I had spent 3 times the amount of their running time cooking for the shower. I went home upset and devastated.
Here is what very few people know. My asthma at one point was considered "life threatening." Thanks to my amazing allergist, I was able to take a new medication that effectively controls my allergic response that causes asthma. My life is more normal, however, asthma will always be an issue. Training for me is MUCH slower than another persons might be and my pace is snail like as well. Running requires me to be aware of my body, especially my breathing. My inhaler is always with me and all of my medications must be taken religiously in order for me to be physically active.
Asthma is really serious and a person with it may look and act completely normal. Left untreated, asthma can progressively worsen impacting a persons life in ways that a healthy person can not understand. It has taken my husband years to grasp that I really am trying but that my lungs REALLY can slow me down.
Running is slowly becoming part of my life again. The pre dawn hours are when it is cool enough to run thus the sunrise is becoming a regular sight. It is lovely! My pace is nothing to brag about and I will never win any awards. However, I am still trying and that in and of itself means something. So when I cross the finish line at a race at the end of the pack people who know me will understand that my victory is not simply about beating a time or speeding by other people. My victory is so much more.