The End of Radio Silence

My "Radio Silence" recently is due to a plethora of unexpected reasons. Work travel came first, followed by a wicked bout with bronchitis that morphed into pneumonia. All enough to keep me off the interwebs and mainly reading on the couch or watching really bad t.v. for last couple of weeks. Towards the end of my recovery my brain was beginning to melt from the medications and lack of intelligent stimulation. Then and only then, did it actually occur to my fevered brow that, "Hey, we have Roku and I can watch good t.v. from Amazon Prime...for free!" Then I started watching quality dramas interspersed with bad t.v.. What can I say the brain can take just so much high brow before it begins to lock up. Although if anyone asks me it was the codeine cough syrup, really, it was.

Today, I went to the doctor for a follow up and he basically told me pneumonia or not, my asthma is in the "severe" category and we now must take more drastic measures.  This is not an instance of a severe asthma attack but a specific type of asthma that affects my breathing a large portion of the time and causes me to have breathing difficulty even with an ongoing treatment regimen. It is not even worth listing the daily medications necessary to keep me functional; suffice to say there are more than a couple along with having a nebulizer for breathing treatments in my home. 

So I came home and ordered, yet another, air purifier for the living area. We already have a HEPA unit in the bedroom and a smaller one that gets moved around the house. Admittedly, I need to stay on top of changing bedding weekly and dusting regularly. Bedding tends to be washed every 2 weeks and aired out daily while dusting is less frequently. We have HEPA Vacuum, I just need to use it more often.

Can I say- this BITES! Yes- the big one! It sucks and there is not a lot I can do to make it better. Luckily, I am an odd bird who takes the medications as required and really tries to stay on top of the food allergies. Can I also say- this is FREAKING HARD!!!!!! I feel angry, helpless, frustrated and most of all misunderstood.  After all I look ok - until the asthma kicks in and knocks me flat. Coworkers don't see the bag of medicine I travel with, the nebulizer that ALWAYS gets bomb swabbed at airport security, the pains I take to get a hotel that doesn't allow pets, or the calls to make sure there are no down pillows on the bed. They don't see me at the front desk changing rooms for heavy dust build up in the room or even just mildew in the shower.  They don't understand how aftershave and perfume terrify me and that when they smoke and come back in the room that is enough to trigger an attack.    

Family remembers that I used to be able to run 5 miles at a pop and come back refreshed, hike for hours and have limitless energy. Spending hours in the garden was nothing and traveling was a joy.  It is different now. I am unable to walk more than a mile without losing my breath, whenever I travel I come home sick and sometimes I even need to come home early from trips. My quality of life is not as good as it was and  that is really hard to come to grips with at 47.

So now I am starting another round of specialists to determine what exactly can be done to help get me on the right track. I am not giving up. HELL- I AM TOO DAMN MAD TO GIVE UP! I want my life back!

Tomorrow is another day!
Jo