Been gone....so long....

I haven't blogged for a very long time. To be honest it hasn't even been on my radar. There was a time when I would compose blog posts in my head while driving home or during really tedious inspections with trainees. That hasn't been the case lately.

After years of being sick a lot more than anyone I know an Immunologist diagnosed me with a type of Primary Immune Deficiency. Easy version: My body does not make antibodies like a normal healthy person makes antibodies. No real way of knowing why but it could be inherited or a mutation somewhere along the line.

My time has been spent dealing with a life changing illness and the issues that come along with a serious diagnosis. Between doctors appointments, a treatment every two weeks that takes almost 3 hours and is followed by several hours of me being useless before bed, my free time has been impacted. Additionally, learning how to listen to my body is taking a toll on my time as well. Why? When I feel good after treatment I am a whirl wind then later there is no energy to tap to do much else.  

I am not going to die from this any time soon. With treatment I will live to be a ripe old age. I must , however, take the time necessary to face this head on and make the necessary changes to keep me healthy without giving up on life. Somehow, I will find balance, I am not denying this any more and I am over the anger. I guess I am almost accepting that this is the new normal. Don't get me wrong I still hate like hell putting 4 needles in my legs every two weeks. I may never get used to infusing myself. Unfortunately, there is no choice.  

I am not pulling down the blog. It is being left up. If I ever get to that place again I may pick it back up.
Just not right now!
Peace, health and hugs!
Jo