There is nothing wrong with Ironing...

My husband has new chef uniforms for work and the uniforms do not look professional if they are not well pressed. Tonight, one of them was ironed while getting clothes ready for travel to Tallahassee next week. The white chef's jacket now looks nice and crisp with sharp creases on the sleeves. Don't misunderstand me, my husband does know how to iron and does not expect me to do the ironing simply because I happen to be female. Since the iron was already hot and he needed it to be done for work next week the uniform was ironed.

There are many tasks and jobs that I choose to do that others sometimes classify as "old fashioned", "women's work", or in one case even one was labeled as "bizarre." (See the sewing machine story below). Ironing is a case in point. Friends, coworkers and even family have said they don't even own an iron.To me that lack of an iron in their lives is perfectly o.k. What do I care if they have an iron? Many times the statement of a lack of an iron is accompanied by the statements; "Why even bother?",  "I don't iron." or "Everything is taken to the cleaners." Once in a great while the statement comes along with a faint tone of scorn for my simple choice to iron some of the clothing we own.

It happens with gardening as well. "Why garden when you can go to the store and buy fresh fruits and vegetables?". Sewing; "That is too much work." Canning; " How long does that take?" and on and on.
A coworker once pulled me aside after I had excitedly shared about the purchase of a new sewing machine to tell me not to "....say things like that too loudly people might take it the wrong way...." Unfortunately, I did not have the self confidence back then to ask her what the hell that statement meant. My job was as a Food and Beverage Manager in an upscale private club, but seriously what would they think....that maybe I could make my own curtains?  Or, hells bells, spread my wings and...GASP... make a pot holder or goodness gracious maybe, just maybe, a skirt? 

Today you can call me amazingly unapologetic for my hobbies and abilities. Ironing happens not because I love to iron but because I would rather do it myself than look wrinkled or pay someone to iron the clothes needed for meetings. Paying someone to press my clothing is not on my agenda unless something else comes up that is MUCH more important, like a trip with my husband or a day with the grand kids. Hell, when retirement hits I may not even have an iron! Even if I somehow happen to become iron less there sure as heck will not be anything but praise for someone who works to save money or for someone who simply likes to iron.

These things that I do in my free time are done mainly for my own personal enjoyment or because it doesn't hurt me in any way to do the task and I have the ability necessary. There is enjoyment for some of us in simply seeing the fruits of our labors- regardless of if it is in a freshly ironed shirt, an overflowing garden or rows of gleaming jars of jam on a shelf. These same tasks not only, remind me of my grandparents who did almost everything themselves but also provide a sense of shared history and a link to the family that is no longer here with me. This simple manual work, performed by my hands is full of meaning and value. If one person finds value in an item or a task it does not necessarily mean others will feel the same. However, if a task, like ironing, has value to me that is enough.




        

Where do we go from here?

                                         

The news has been simply overwhelming the last several days. Photo's of Sandy Hook and its poor victims are plastered on every newspaper and t.v. station in the world. There is no real respite from the chaos and sadness.

My eyes have filled with tears countless times- when the innocent faces appeared or the names were mentioned I cried. Many others across this nation have cried as well. We are crying in sympathy to those who have truly lost what is most precious and innocent. We are crying at the loss of not only those children but the loss of a bit of innocence of our own children and grandchildren. After all we will have to explain about "bad men" and being safe when you are away from mommy and daddy.

Is it guns? Is it mental illness? Or as some have so ignorantly stated to be expected as we have taken God out of schools? Posts on facebook scream personal views on the subject. Guns will be taken away! Bring God Back! Get rid of all guns! More money for mental health! Just focus on high powered weapons! and on and on.

Simply stop! Take a deep breath. It is a sad tragedy. Focus first on getting through this terrible time. Focus your thoughts and prayers on the families of those so tragically affected by the actions of a very disturbed individual. Send your prayers to the family of the shooter as well. They too are mourning the loss of a mother as well as suffering guilt from the actions of the shooter.

The discussion needs to happen to, if nothing else, clear the air and give those affected a chance to speak.  But now is not the time. When the information from the investigation is complete and there is are answers to why then solutions can be found. Until then we are guessing. My feeling is there are several causes but until the information has been gathered my thoughts are simply more noise in the chaos of the week.

Yet, I do know. Saying God was not in Sandy Hook shows a gross lack of respect to the families touched by this despicable tragedy.  Are you simply trying to keep your name in the headlines? Students are allowed to pray in school. School sanctioned prayer is what is not allowed. Prayer can happen anytime, anywhere- it does not have to be sanctioned to exist. It matters not the religion of these children only that we recognize that they were innocent and full of a promise not to be realized.
It matters that we who are left behind, honor what they represented and when the time is right work to ensure this tragedy is never duplicated.

So until the facts are in pray to your version of God, the universe or simply send loving thoughts to those affected.        

Gratitude and Thanksgiving in the Garden

My garden in my place of refuge. When life is tough and the days seem to become a never ending relentless grind the garden is my quiet place and peaceful haven. My refuge from both the real and imagined tragedies of life.

It is in the garden that my mind can release my demons from the day or week. Those petty hurts, those mistakes made in haste and the painful frustrations of expectations not met. Those things that can   relentlessly eat at you all begin to dissolve into the warmth of the rich brown soil we have worked years to build. As the dirt runs through my hands a new beginning flowers and takes shape in my soul. For here I can have absolution and move forward into forgiveness of self and others and eventually into gratitude and grace.

The garden clears my head and puts the priorities of life into perspective. When issues seem tho have become intractable or so cloudy that there is no end in sight, no resolution to be sought, the garden offers clarity. The scents of earth and flowers or fresh dew and clean air can clear away the haziness of uncertainty. Answers slowly rise to the surface as if magically born on the tender leaves of the vibrant green plants.

The talks I have with the women who shaped me, my grandmothers, while digging and planting remind me of a loving childhood. I tell them of my day, how everyone is doing, ask them for help and then imagine the advice they would have given. A sense of oneness with those who have given their love to support me in the past envelopes me while working under the warming rays of the sun. Gardening for my grandmothers was part of life and survival and it makes me wonder if the garden gave them the same respite that it has afforded me through the years.

Gratitude. The garden allows gratitude to flow. The soil and sun give me an abundance of food and a place of comfort. It allows me a place to give thanks for beauty and to contemplate my life and the things in it that are cherished beyond all measure. My list changes as do the seasons and the weather. Yet my gratitude allways includes the love and forgiveness of my wonderful husband, the beauty of my grandchildren and children, the ability to see the grace that surrounds me every day and most of all the love of extended family and those that have left this earth and watch over me in the setting sun.

May everyone have a "gardening" place in their lives and enjoy Thanksgiving with those whom they love.